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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516514">Finding a Way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/artqueer/pseuds/artqueer'>artqueer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Expanse (TV), The Expanse Series - James S. A. Corey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:22:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,248</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516514</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/artqueer/pseuds/artqueer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of Season 5, Naomi, Drummer, and Michio cope with loss as they try to find a way forward.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Camina Drummer/Michio Pa, Camina Drummer/Naomi Nagata, Jim Holden/Naomi Nagata</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Naomi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naomi sat in the med bay, relaxing into the chair and listening to the quiet feedback beeps emitting from the autodoc. She breathed deeply, still reveling in the ability to fill her lungs with as much oxygen as she needed. It was impossible to describe how good it felt to be able to breathe, drink water, and eat to her heart's content after an experience as harrowing as her time on the <em>Chetzemoka</em>.</p>
<p>She enjoyed a few moments to herself, as the autodoc monitored her vitals and Holden was off making her some tea and some coffee for himself. She had spent most of her time back on the Roci sequestered in the med bay, which meant Holden had been spending most of his time there as well. It was so good to be back on their ship and to spend time with her crew, or what was left of her crew, but these fleeting moments of solitude were definitely welcome.</p>
<p>There were so many things she felt she needed to be doing, thinking about, discussing, but she was still far from being physically recovered and her mental state and emotions were still reeling from everything. While being held against her will on the Pella, Naomi found herself drifting back to the dark thoughts she'd almost succumbed to all those years ago. She'd done everything she could to reach out to Filip and it broke her heart seeing Marco use the same tactics of psychological abuse against him as he had against her. She had known it wasn’t going to be easy to reach Filip, but she also knew that she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if something happened and she hadn’t even tried to help him. The whole thing had gone about as bad as it could have. Well, not quite as bad. She still had Holden, and that was all thanks to Drummer.</p>
<p>Naomi’s thoughts turned to Camina, and she wished she could talk about all that had happened with her over a cup of tea or a few beers. She missed the way they used to talk for hours, and realized that Camina probably knew more about her toxic relationship with Marco than she had yet revealed to Jim. She wondered if there will come a time when Holden knows more about her than Camina does. There were things she never had to explain to Camina, as they share remarkably similar backgrounds. Camina knew implicitly what it meant to be a Belter, to live this existence, which is something Holden would never fully know despite his admirable attempts to understand.</p>
<p>The autodoc let out a final chime and released it's hold on Naomi's arm. Startled out of her thoughts, she removed her arm and carefully stood up to stretch. She wanted to talk to Camina, but had no way of knowing where she was. Holden had described the battle to her soon after she returned to the Rocinante. Camina had gone against Marco, firing on the other ships to protect the Roci. Naomi was so grateful to hear this, but fearful for Camina's safety. She yearned to know how Camina was doing and decided to send her a message. She headed to the door of the medbay, planning on recording the message with the additional privacy her cabin would afford her.</p>
<p>As she went into the corridor, she saw Holden walking towards her with two bulbs in hand.</p>
<p>"Going somewhere?" he asked, failing to hide the concern in his expression.</p>
<p>"Gonna stretch my legs and get a change of clothes, maybe take a shower,” she responded with a weak smile, not wanting to reveal her true plan in case she changed her mind.</p>
<p>“Oh, okay. You know I can always get you a change of clothes, or anything you need. I’m happy to help,” he rambled earnestly.</p>
<p>“I know, Jim. Thank you. But really, I’m fine. I’ve been cooped up in the medbay too long anyway,” she said, “I will take that tea though.”</p>
<p>Holden looked down at his hand, appearing to have forgotten all about the beverages he was holding.</p>
<p>“Right, of course, here you go.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” she said, and kissed him gently as she took the bulb of tea.</p>
<p>“Let’s talk later, yeah?” she asked as she began heading for the cabin.</p>
<p>“Okay, yeah,” he responded. Naomi glanced behind her before he was out of her sightline. He looked a bit ridiculous in an endearing way, standing there with that lost puppy look in his eyes and holding his coffee. It was good to be home.</p>
<p>Naomi found a new set of clothes and decided to take a quick shower before recording her message to Drummer. Once in the head, she removed her old clothes carefully, as her whole body was still a bit sore and stiff. She set the water temperature to lukewarm so as not to aggravate her sunburn and stepped into the shower. She began to run through all the things she should say to Drummer as she got clean, but couldn’t figure out where or how to start. When her shower was done, she grabbed a towel and gently patted herself dry. Her skin had certainly seen better days, and was still tender to the touch though it had begun to heal.</p>
<p>She applied some of the natural salve she purchased in a small shop on Luna which left her skin feeling better than any of the military-grade ointments they had in the Roci's med bay. She pulled on the fresh pair of underwear and a soft sports bra, followed by a long sleeve shirt and some pants. She looked herself over in the mirror and decided she was presentable enough. Back in her cabin, she took a sip of the tea and pulled up comms on her wall display. She opened the record function, quickly assessed the background visible to the camera to make sure nothing was out of place, and took a deep breath before pressing record.</p>
<p>"Camina," Naomi said softly, looking into the camera.</p>
<p>"There's so much I want to say, to talk about. I'm on Luna right now. Not sure where you are or when we might get a chance talk, but I wanted to at least reach out in the meantime."</p>
<p>"I want to thank you. For not firing on the Roci. This means... it means so much Camina."</p>
<p>"I know how hard it must have been to go against Marco. I know he won't take this lightly, though I don't know how much danger you're in or if you've already paid a price. I'm sorry you were put in this position. You shouldn't have had to make the choice between the safety of you and your family and the safety of mine. But I am so grateful for the choice you made.”</p>
<p>“I keep thinking back to that first time you had to make the decision whether or not to fire on the Rocinante. Seems like so long since we were there together on the Behemoth. I know that we haven't really talked much about that time since. And it's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I just want to say... I... I understand why you gave the order to fire then. It was just so difficult to look you in the eyes as you said fire, and know that it could have meant the death of my crew. My family. I wish our parting had been on better terms, but I knew that I had to make sure that they were ok. It's not that I didn't love you, or that I loved them more, I just knew that I never wanted to be in that position again, of watching helplessly as they could have died.”</p>
<p>“Fuck, sorry," Naomi said, wiping away tears and smiling weakly, "I thought I'd be able to hold myself together, but it's been a rough couple weeks." Naomi wiped her eyes again and then took a few deep breaths.</p>
<p>“I still love you Camina. And sometimes I wonder if there was a way for us to be together. But I can't seem to think of one. We are on our own paths, and have been for awhile I think. It's hard to say what the future holds, but one thing I do know is how beautiful the time we shared was when our paths crossed. Just because our paths diverged doesn't mean that I don't want you in my life anymore. I still do.”</p>
<p>“I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but I'd like to know, and I'd like to do what I can to support you through this. I know first hand, twice now, that escaping Marco isn't easy. He doesn't let people escape without keeping some part of them or putting up a fight. He still has Filip, I couldn't save him from his father, but maybe when he realizes who Marco really is he'll be able to get away.”</p>
<p>“I hope you'll reach out when you get this. Thank you, again, for everything.”</p>
<p>“I love you Camina," Naomi said, then cut off the message. She paused, hand held over the controls, and wondered if she should play it back or re-record or not send anything at all. Even after everything that had happened, after multiple close brushes with death, the loss of a crewmate, and with the entire system at war, why did pressing send seem like such a daunting feat? She took a deep breath and tapped the screen before she could change her mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Michio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michio glanced over at the new message alert, and felt her pulse quicken as she couldn’t help but hope it was from Oksana. She hated the way they parted, and they hadn’t heard from the <em> Mowteng </em> since. She and Josep had each sent a few messages with the hope of at least making sure the ship hadn’t been destroyed, taken by pirates, or any number of other tragic fates that were all too possible. She had been spending a lot of her time lately monitoring comms in the hopes of getting any news.</p><p>She opened the notification and saw that it was addressed to Drummer. Her hopes fell when she read the sender’s name. Naomi Nagata. She didn’t know for sure, but thought this was likely the first time Naomi had reached out since before all the shit had gone down. Before the Free Navy. Before they lost Serge. Before their family split up. Before Marco fucking Inaros wreaked havoc on the entire system and her life. She didn’t know the whole story of what happened between Naomi and Camina, just the broad strokes: they met back during Drummer’s Tycho days, and had a pretty intense platonic and then romantic and sexual relationship while on the Behemoth. She knew enough to figure that Drummer would want to see the message as soon as possible.</p><p>Michio pinged Camina’s hand terminal, but no one answered. She pulled up the location of the terminal which read as being in their quarters, but saw on the video feed that no one was there. She quickly clicked through different feeds throughout the ship until she found Drummer, who sat on the floor of the machine shop with a bottle of something. Even though she appeared tiny on the video feed, Michio could see that Camina’s eyeliner was smudged.</p><p>“Pashang,” she muttered under her breath. Josep looked up from across the ops deck but she shook her head to signal that nothing was wrong. Well, it wasn’t that not that nothing was wrong, but as they were three crew members short, Josep was currently occupied with twice as many tasks as normal and she figured it would be best if she tried to handle this on her own. </p><p>“Gonna go check on the captain, looks like she’s not doing so good,” Michio said to Josep as she headed out.</p><p>“Ok, let me know if there’s anything I can do” Josep responded before his attention was diverted by an alert on his display.</p><p>She climbed down the crew ladder to the deck that Camina was on, and walked the rest of the way to the machine shop. She opened the door and Camina’s tear streaked eyes looked up to meet her. </p><p>“Oye, Michio!” Camina said in a feigned jovial tone, voice slightly slurred, and raised the bottle in her hand in Michio’s general direction. Michio walked over, unsure whether to sit or stand, and decided to sit next to Drummer. </p><p>“Why don’t I take that,” Michio said, taking the bottle from Drummer and placing it on the other side of her. </p><p>“Oh,” Camina said softly, pouting in in protest but not stopping her. Her focus shifted from the bottle to Michio.</p><p>“You have a really pretty face,” Drummer said, reaching out and running her hand along Michio’s cheek.</p><p>“Ok, Camina, it seems like you might be a little bit drunk,” Michio responded, taking her hand.</p><p>“Camina’s not drunk,” she argued unconvincingly. Michio chuckled a bit in response and Camina smiled sadly at her.</p><p>“You got a message,” Michio informed her, carefully watching her response.</p><p>“Oh really?” Camina responded, squinting her eyes sceptically, “Nobody wants to talk to me. Oksana hates me. And everyone thinks I’m a big traitor to da belt.” </p><p>“Ok, there’s a lot to unpack there. To sasa que none of that is true Camina” Michio tried to assure her, wrapping an arm around her back.</p><p>“Hm,” Camina said in response, “who’s the message from then?”</p><p>“Naomi.”</p><p>“Oh” Camina responded quietly, and appeared to be lost in thought for a moment. She looked around her and patted her pockets, searching for something. </p><p>“I don’t know where my hand terminal is,” Camina said when she realized the fact.</p><p>“You left it in the cabin, you can use mine to watch the message if you want.” Camina nodded and took the terminal, punching in her log-in information to access the message.</p><p>“Do you want me to stay with you while you watch it?” Michio asked, wanting to give Camina privacy if she needed it. Camina pondered this for a few moments before answering. </p><p>“Um no, if that’s ok.”</p><p>“Yeah, no problem,” Michio responded, and kissed Drummer on the forehead before standing to leave.</p><p>“I love you, Camina,” Michio said before leaving. Camina looked up at her, and responded “I love you too.”</p><p>Michio left, turning for one more glance at Camina. She kind of wished she had been asked to stay as she’d have liked to know what was said in the message and wanted to be there to support Camina. She’d just have to wait and gauge Camina’s reaction next time she saw her. As she made her way back to the ops deck she realized that she left the bottle there with Camina and made a mental note to check on her after she had some time to watch the message.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Naomi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oye Naomi,” the tear-stricken Drummer said.</p><p>Naomi had been curled up with Holden in their shared cabin when the new message alert came through. Six hours had passed since she sent her original message, but she wasn’t sure how much of that was down to the limitations of distance and lag or time taken for Drummer to think. She had climbed out of the crash couch and walked to the currently empty galley to watch Camina’s message.</p><p>“I’m not doing so good,” Camina said and let out a harsh chuckle. Her eyes were red and looked puffy though it was hard to tell under the smudged eye makeup.</p><p>“I’ve been informed that I’m drunk, so I probably should be waiting to sober up before sending you a message back but ah well.” Camina took a deep breath before the messages continued.</p><p>“Was sorry to hear about your loss” Camina said and looked down before bringing her gaze back up to the camera “We lost Serge. He was on the Pella when everything happened and... well. You can probably guess the rest.”</p><p>“Oksana left me,” she said after a pause.</p><p>“Said ‘we have nothing to stay together for’” Drummer said, momentarily adopting a different way of speaking which Naomi guessed was meant to impersonate Oksana.</p><p>“I...” Camina started, “I thought I found my place, my people. I loved them. Love them. I’ve only felt that way, been that vulnerable once before. I just, I don’t know why everyone leaves me. Well not everyone, Michio and Josep have been really good to me. And you, I don’t blame you for leaving, I just miss you is all.”</p><p>Camina wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, and Naomi found herself tearing up as well.</p><p>“Anyway, I should probably go sleep this off so I can wake up and be the bosmang again. Thanks for your message,” Camina said, and looked off to the side. She looked back towards the camera and opened her mouth as if to say something else before closing it again. After a moment she seemed to decide to add one more thing to the message.</p><p>“I love you too Naomi.”</p><p>The video cut out and Naomi stared at her hand terminal for another moment before looking up. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. If only she could be there, she wished she could help Drummer get through this. She was clearly in so much pain, they both were.</p><p>“Hey boss. Is it ok if I come grab some food?”</p><p>Naomi looked up, startled to see Amos pausing on his way into the galley.</p><p>“Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” she said and wiped her eyes again. She powered down the hand terminal and turned it over on the table.</p><p>“Everything okay?” Amos asked as he heated up some leftovers.</p><p>“Um, yeah, no. My... my friend’s not doing so good. And all I can do is send messages but I don’t know if that’ll even help. I want to be able to fix everything for her but that’s not remotely possible.”</p><p>“Ah, yeah. Hard not to be able to fix something. Do you want some of this?” he asked, holding up the steaming tray.</p><p>“Yeah, thanks,” Naomi said, realizing how hungry she actually was.</p><p>Amos split the leftovers into two dishes and handed one to Naomi. They began to eat, both occupied with their own thoughts.</p><p>“You know who is good at all this people stuff?” Amos said.</p><p>“Holden?” Naomi responded.</p><p>“Yep. You should probably talk to him. He might be able to help you help your friend.”</p><p>“You’re right. I’ll talk to him. Although it’s maybe a bit complicated since she’s also my ex.”</p><p>“Ah, so this is Drummer we’re talking about?” Amos asked.</p><p>“Yep,” Naomi responded. The two continue eating in companionable silence for a bit.</p><p>“Well let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” Amos finally said.</p><p>“Thanks Amos,” Naomi said earnestly.</p><p>“No problem boss,” Amos responded, and shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth before standing, “gonna go hit the head and then get some sleep.”</p><p>“Okay,” Naomi said, and finished eating as he cleaned and stowed his dish and left the galley.</p><p>Back in their shared cabin, Naomi quietly changed clothes, trying not to disturb Holden’s slumber. She climbed into bed beside him, and felt his arm reach over her to embrace her.</p><p>“Hi,” Holden said groggily.</p><p>“Hi,” she responded, and waited to see if he was going to say anything else.</p><p>After a few moments she heard his breathing become deeper once more, and realized he had already gone back to sleep, or perhaps was asleep the whole time. She closed her eyes, ready for sleep as well. She felt like it was time. She finally felt ready to tell him everything. Tomorrow.</p><p>She would tell him everything there was to know about herself that he didn’t already know. And then they would make a plan for how to stop the Free Navy and the rogue Martian fleet and whatever other catastrophes needed their attention and they would try to set the universe right once more. It wouldn’t bring crew members or family back, or save her son, or salvage Drummer’s relationship. But maybe it could prevent more lives from being lost. And maybe they could find a way to make the universe into a safer and kinder place so that she could see Camina again.</p><p>She held onto that hope of seeing her friend again as she drifted off to sleep. They would dance and laugh over drinks and swap stories of all that had happened in their time apart.</p><p>The image of she and Camina dancing together in what was both the club all those years ago on Tycho as well as a future version of themselves at a nondescript club on some station or another flickered through her mind and through her dreams that night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Michio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michio was exhausted. </p><p>Her shift was almost at its end. Shift was maybe too formal a term, implied a level of organization and leadership which no longer existed. But things still needed doing, even when they lost one of their own and two more had left. Still had to keep the ship in working order and make sure they stayed safe and hidden until they had more of a plan.</p><p>Josep nodded as he entered the ops deck and slumped into his crash couch, rubbing his eyes and drinking what smelled like coffee. She stood up and stretched, looking over the system’s readouts and stats one last time before heading for the crew ladder. </p><p>All she wanted to do was sleep. For hours and hours, days maybe. But every time she closed her eyes and tried all she could see was Serge in that airlock. </p><p>She went to the galley. She’d try the chamomile tea again. Or maybe something stronger. </p><p>Drummer was sitting at the table when Michio got there. She had a mostly empty plate before her and appeared to be looking vacantly at the opposite wall.</p><p>“Oye, Camina,” Michio said gently, though her voice cracked and she realized she couldn’t remember when she last spoke aloud.</p><p>“Hey,” Camina responded, snapped out of her daze.</p><p>“You want some tea?” Michio asked. </p><p>“Yeah. That would be nice,” she responded, “Do we still have some of that spiced rooibos left?”</p><p>“Think so...” Michio said and checked, “Yep, we do.” She added a tea bag to one bulb before replacing the container and taking the one with the chamomile and doing the same. Michio found herself staring at Camina as the tea steeped. She looked about as tired as Michio herself felt. The lack of black around her eyes was unsettling. She hadn’t been wearing the makeup with the same regularity as she had the entire time Michio had known her. Camina still looked beautiful, but lacked the peacefulness of sleep that Michio had unconsciously associated with an absence of makeup. She found her brain reconfiguring it’s map of the woman before her, both new and familiar, sorting the knowledge to make room for and adapt to change. </p><p>She thought about other possibilities, realities besides this one, in which this person was not her captain, her partner. Perhaps they were strangers in a bar. Drummer was someone she’d have felt the urge to approach, or would have at least hoped approached her. It would be hard not to fall for her, and Michio couldn’t imagine that this alternate version of herself would be satisfied with only a passing glance. She imagined holding the stranger’s gaze from across the room, and how they would inevitably find themselves drawn together. They’d find their way back to one of their rooms and they wouldn’t talk much that first night, the intensity would make small talk trivial. </p><p>“Michio?” Camina said quietly. Had she been staring long before she noticed? </p><p>“Yeah, sorry,” Michio said, turning away. She picked up the tea and walked over to sit at the table.</p><p>“What were you thinking about?” Drummer asked and took the bulb of tea.</p><p>“...You.” </p><p>Or more accurately, versions of us in a parallel universe fucking for the first time. Which was ridiculous. Why was she thinking about sex? Had she come completely unraveled? Maybe the lack of sleep was catching up with her. She really couldn’t think of a way to explain any of what was going on in her head at the moment so she did not elaborate.</p><p>“Was just thinking about you too,” Camina said. </p><p>Michio was a bit startled, and had to question her own assumption that Camina wouldn’t be thinking about her. It shouldn’t seem so strange, but it did. She was curious as to what specifically Camina had been thinking about her but also didn’t want to divulge her own thoughts.</p><p>“What about?” She couldn’t help herself.</p><p>“Just that it looks like you could use some sleep. And that I’ve been not as supportive or present as you deserve. That this is maybe the first full conversation we’ve had, or that I’ve not been drunk for, since...” Drummer wiped her eyes harshly with the backs of her hands. </p><p>“Yeah, maybe so,” Michio responded. </p><p>“I’m sorry Michio.”</p><p>“I know Camina. It hasn't been easy. For you. For me. For Josep. And I don't see that changing any time soon.” Camina nodded as Michio spoke.</p><p>"I think," Michio continued, "We just gotta keep going. Keep breathing. Work. Sleep if you can. Eat. Drink. And we figure out our next move. And we do that. And then the next. Then maybe the pain's not so bad in time."</p><p>"Those sound like the words of a captain, maybe you should be in charge sa sa?" Michio felt a rush of anger, was Camina seriously making fun of her after what she thought had been a pretty profound speech? Why was everything about wit and jokes with her?</p><p>"Yeah, maybe so" Michio said curtly, "but unless you're serious, you better get your shit together, start acting like the captain I know you can be, and find a healthier way to grieve than drinking yourself to death." She was almost yelling at this point, body shaking with a combination of anger, sadness, and exhaustion as she stood up from the table.</p><p>"Because I can't lose another partner," the words broke something inside of her and she felt a wave of emotion tug at her. Camina was out of her chair now too, and reaching to her, apologizing and embracing her fiercely. Michio didn't move, and she had the intense awareness of being outside of her body. This was odd, it hadn't happened since she was a child. But there she was, and there was Camina hugging her and saying words Michio didn't register. Poor Camina, scared and sad and alone out here in the stars. No, not really alone. But everyone probably was scared and sad and alone. That must have been how Serge felt in that airlock. And she was in the airlock, she was Serge, and she couldn't breathe. Scared and sad and alone. </p><p>"Michio! Look at me! Breathe! Michio!" She gasped in a breath, and saw Camina's frantic expression. Then Camina's lips were on hers and then on the place her neck and shoulder met as she was pulled into a tight hug. </p><p>"I'm ok," Michio assured her.</p><p>"No, I don't think any of us are ok. Everything you said it's true," Camina said, shaking with sobs as she held Michio close.</p><p>"Ok," Michio responded, though she didn't remember much of what she had said.</p><p>"I'm going to take you to bed, you need to get some sleep," Camina said.</p><p>"Ok," Michio repeated, still dazed, and then, "will you stay with me?"</p><p>Drummer's breath caught and she stopped for a moment. Michio wasn't sure why, or if she said something wrong.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Michio asked.</p><p>"Nothing," said Camina, snapping out of it, "just that... I said the same thing to someone once. Only... in the end she didn't stay with me."</p><p>"That's not nice," Michio said, unsure why she sounded like a child.</p><p>"No," Camina said and sighed as she began to guide and then carry Michio to their quarters.</p><p>Michio liked the way she felt in Camina's arms. After weeks of taking care of her it was nice to be taken care of, to be held with such gentleness and strength. </p><p>Camina settled her onto a crash couch and climbed in beside her, pulling a blanket over them both. Michio felt her nestle in to spoon her and stroke a hair behind her ear. </p><p>"I love you," Camina told her.</p><p>"I love you too," Michio murmured. Her eyes drifted closed, and she slept the whole night through for the first time since before.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Naomi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the first time in awhile, Naomi slept in. She couldn’t exactly remember the last time she had, but it would have been back when the whole crew was on Tycho after Illus. The interrogations on Luna had begun once she was mostly recovered and they had been brutal. The sixteen hour long sessions had taken their toll both mentally and emotionally, but it had to be done to secure blanket immunity for herself and her crew. After the official interrogations ended for the day she would eat dinner with Holden and she’d share more of her story with him each day. These talks were less taxing, and at least left her feeling a bit lighter afterward, but it still was painful to discuss a lot of it. </p><p>Between the interrogations and her growing fascination with solving the mystery of disappearing ships at the ring gates, there wasn’t much time for a good night’s sleep. Now that they were off Luna she finally was able to sleep in. They were on a mission to capture or destroy the Free Navy ship suspected to be coordinating the rocks dropping on Earth. If they were successful, this would free up the Earth fleet to go after the Free Navy with greater force.</p><p>Naomi still hadn’t felt completely comfortable lately. She was used to the skeleton crew of Jim, Amos, Alex, and herself running the Roci, and felt uneasy at the presence of the new crew. She liked the company of Bobbie, Monica Stuart, and Clarissa, though Clarissa had mostly kept to herself. However, she was less comfortable with the new crew members she hadn’t previously known.</p><p>Bobbie was taking the lead on this mission, which seemed to cause Holden’s ego to take a hit, though he tried to hide it. Bobbie did her best not to step on Holden’s toes, and Naomi could tell that she’d make a great captain one day. On the slow burn towards their destination, Naomi sometimes joined Bobbie during her workouts and they’d share a meal in the galley afterwards. She had noticed over the past few days that Bobbie had been coming in and out of Monica’s cabin a lot and was a bit curious if something was going on there, but she hadn’t found the right opportunity to bring it up yet. </p><p>Naomi got up from the crash couch and threw on some clothes. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before heading to the galley to make some black tea. She sat at the table and looked over the latest data on the missing ships while her tea steeped. </p><p>“Morning,” Bobbie said as she entered the galley. </p><p>“Hey,” Naomi responded.</p><p>“I think I’m going to head to the gym in about an hour if you want to join,” Bobbie said as she started the coffee maker. </p><p>“Um, yeah I think so,” Naomi said looking down at the data hand terminal, “These missing ships don’t make any sense. I mean, there’s gotta be a pattern here, but I just can’t see it yet. And I guess the best minds of Earth and Mars can’t either.”</p><p>“Maybe taking your mind off it will help,” Bobbie suggested, as the coffee maker whired. </p><p>“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Naomi conceded, “plus some physical activity will do me some good.”</p><p>“I’ll see you at the gym then?” Bobbie asked as she headed out of the galley.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Naomi responded. </p><p>“Cool,” Bobbie said. Naomi noticed that she headed back in the direction she came in. Not towards her own cabin, but she could have been going to Monica’s. Plus she had two bulbs of coffee in tow, not one. So maybe that was a thing. </p><p>Her attention returned to the terminal, and she ran a few calculations on the data as she thought of new possibilities. As the terminal processed the information, her mind drifted to Camina. She wanted to send another message, but didn’t know what to say. For the time being she couldn’t contact her anyway since they were running dark with the comms and transponder off so as not to draw their target’s attention. Her terminal pinged with the first computation output, and she spent the next half hour looking through the results as they came in. None of her guesses seemed to have much potential. Some of the results were almost statistically significant, and perhaps warranted a second look, but she didn’t feel any closer to figuring this out. </p><p>She glanced at the time and realized Bobbie was probably in the gym, so she dropped her empty tea mug in the recycler and headed to join her. Maybe today she’d ask Bobbie about Monica. It seemed trivial and gossipy, but Naomi couldn’t help but be curious. It was almost like being back on the Canterbury, where discussions of who was with whom were much more prevalent than heavy topics like system-wide war and ships getting eaten by gates made of alien technology which defied the known laws of physics.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Michio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michio took a deep breath of the steamy air. She loved the feeling of hot water streaming down her skin and felt her muscles relax. The tension that had built up over the past weeks and months had finally begun to ease. They had come up with a plan, or the beginnings of a plan, which made the future seem not quite so doomed. She and Drummer were also in a much better place after her exhaustion fueled meltdown.</p>
<p>She turned the stream of water off, not ready yet to leave the warmth and steam of the stall, but not wanting to unnecessarily use more of their stores of water since she was already clean. Michio leaned against the wall, watching the last few drops of residual water fall from the shower head down to the floor in the light thrust gravity. She slowly sank down to the floor as well, and began to gently comb through her hair with her fingers. Once she felt confident her hair wouldn’t air dry into a tangled mess, she began gently massaging the rest of the tension out of her muscles. She still had plenty of time before she’d really need to get working, and while she could have slept in longer she had felt pretty refreshed waking up after eight hours of sleep and thought it would be best to get started with her day. </p>
<p>A hot shower never failed to calm Michio. In the residual heat and humidity, massaging herself took on a sensual note and she let one hand wander to her clit as the other worked out the knots in the muscles in her neck and the top of her back. It didn’t take her long to come, and afterwards she closed her eyes and let her body rest as she soaked in the remaining heat.</p>
<p>She towled herself off and put on a sports bra and underwear before heading to the cabin for the rest of her clothes. When she got to the doorway, she saw Camina still sleeping on one of the crash couches. She walked as quietly as she could and hung her towel up to dry. She was about to go grab a fresh set of clothes when she saw that Drummer had woken up.</p>
<p>“Hey sleepyhead,” Michio said with a smile.</p>
<p>“Morning,” Drummer responded. As she sat up, Michio saw that Drummer wasn’t wearing anything under the blanket and she felt her cheeks flush at the sight of her exposed chest. Drummer seemed to smirk a bit as she looked Michio up and down in turn, and Michio felt caught between the urge to either quickly get dressed the rest of the way or to go jump on top of Drummer. </p>
<p>“You look good,” Drummer said, breaking the tension filled silence.</p>
<p>“So do you,” Michio responded, and chuckled as she felt her face continue to blush. </p>
<p>“You gonna stand there all day or you wanna come over here?” Drummer asked.</p>
<p>“I suppose I could come sit,” Michio responded, “but I’m not gonna have sex with you right now.” She kind of wanted to, but they hadn’t slept together since before everything had gone down and while the moment seemed like as good a time as any to do so, she wasn’t sure that she was quite ready.</p>
<p>“That’s okay, I wasn’t presuming,” Drummer said, “I just thought maybe we could sit and talk for a bit.” Michio walked over and sat beside her in bed.</p>
<p>“That would be nice,” Michio responded. Their eyes met and neither said anything for a moment. Michio leaned in and kissed Drummer gently and briefly. She laughed a little as she pulled away, and Drummer smiled shyly.</p>
<p>“So what did you want to talk about?” Michio asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t know, nothing in particular, anything really,” Drummer said somewhat flustered and it was her turn to blush, “Is there something specific you want to talk about?”</p>
<p>“Not really,” Michio said, “Just ask me a question.”</p>
<p>“Okay, um... tell me something I don’t know about you,” Drummer responded, “maybe something about your past, I want to know more about you. You already know most things about me but I feel like there’s still a lot I don’t know about you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think we have time to get into my entire past now, but how about this, I’ll go get my brush while you think of one really good question and then you can do my hair while I answer.”</p>
<p>“Deal,” Camina responded. Michio got up and walked across the room, where she got her brush and slid a few ponytails onto her wrist. </p>
<p>“Thought up a question?” Michio asked as she handed Camina the brush and sat beside her.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Camina responded, and tucked Michio’s hair behind her shoulders so that she could brush it. Michio felt a shiver go down her spine at Camina’s gentle touch.</p>
<p>“I want you to tell me about your first love,” Camina said. Michio felt her heart jump at the question, and took some time to compose her thoughts before responding. Camina waited patiently as she brushed Michio’s hair, starting from the ends and working her way up to the roots until the tangles were gone. Michio took a deep breath and then began.</p>
<p>“My first love,” Michio declared with mock seriousness “was an engineer named Sam. Sam Rosenberg. They were... they were really hot and smart and genuinely the nicest person I’ve ever met. They used to work on Tycho back in the day. That’s where we met, in this seedy bar that catered mostly to OPA types. I was between jobs and feeling pretty down so I had been coming there most nights since the drinks were cheap and usually there were quite a few attractive women there who were also looking for a one night stand. Anyway, I saw this person sitting at the end of the bar and in my head I was like ‘She’s hot, and is probably queer, maybe I’ll sleep with her tonight,’ granted I was drunk at the time. So I kept my eye on them throughout the night and slowly made my way over. Eventually we got to talking and I learned their name was Sam and that they were nonbinary. Up until then I primarily dated women and had only slept with women, although I never have considered myself exclusively attracted to one gender or another, as you know. But yeah, I was really into Sam from the moment I met them.” </p>
<p>As Michio spoke, Drummer parted and started braiding her hair. Michio couldn’t tell if she was braiding so slowly so that the story would last longer or just to make sure it was neat.</p>
<p>“Sam and I, we just clicked. We realized we liked a lot of the same music and feeds. We both had a pretty rough time growing up but were stronger for it. We even had the same favorite noodle place on the station. Anyway, that first night we ended up back at their place, which was significantly nicer than the tiny rented room I’d been staying in. I don’t really remember all the specifics of that night anymore, but the sex was fun and awkward, in the way that it often is when you’re with someone new.”</p>
<p>Michio felt herself smiling as she remembered, and could feel her heart beating quickly. Camina reached around her and Michio was confused as to what she was doing until she touched her wrist and pulled off one of the elastics. As Camina leaned forward, her breasts touched Michio’s back and she felt a shiver go through her and her blood pulsing in her clit. </p>
<p>“After about a week we decided to see each other exclusively, and we were pretty much inseparable from that point on except while we were at work. We went to so many underground punk shows. Oh, for one date we rented this tiny skiff and took it out a ways away from the station and had sex on the float, that was a lot of fun,” Michio said and chuckled, “damn, it’s been awhile since I’ve had sex at zero g.”</p>
<p>“Same here,” Camina said as she finished twisting Michio’s braided hair into a bun. Michio thought over her next words carefully.</p>
<p>“You know... we are due to be turning off the engines later today. So we could have sex on the float later. If you want to,” Michio said. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Camina said quickly, “fuck yes,” and laughed. Michio turned and smiled.</p>
<p>“It’s a date,” Michio declared. She leaned in and kissed Drummer, running her fingers through her hair before shoving her shoulder playfully into the crash couch and moving on top of her. She kissed Camina more forcefully and stroked her breasts as she’d wanted to since coming into the room. With legs intertwined, the pressure of Camina’s thigh on her clit felt amazing. She lifted herself off Camina abruptly, and grinned.</p>
<p>“Time to get to work,” Michio announced and hopped off the crash couch. </p>
<p>“Fuuuck,” Drummer responded, voice cracking, “Ok yeah, I’ll be there... I’ll get up in a few minutes, there’s just a few things I should take care of here.”</p>
<p>“Sure there are,” Michio said, raising her eyebrows suggestively as she finished putting on her jumpsuit. </p>
<p>“Have fun,” Michio told Drummer as she headed for the door.</p>
<p>“I will,” Camina responded, “And I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>“Yes you will,” Michio said before she was out the door.</p>
<p>She laughed, pleased with herself, as she headed to the ops deck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Naomi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you think about your time on the <em> Cant </em> much anymore?” Naomi asked as she rested against the bulkhead at one end of their crash couch. They were returning to Luna after their mission to take out the <em> Azure Dragon </em>. The crew of the enemy ship had put up a stronger fight than expected and the Roci had sustained a lot of damage. </p>
<p>“Sometimes, yeah,” Holden responded, “Is there a reason you’re asking?”</p>
<p>“No, nothing particularly,” Naomi said, “It’s just... We’ve been dealing with so much since then and most of it would have seemed... I don’t know, completely ridiculous?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can’t argue with you there.”</p>
<p>“I wonder how long I’d have stayed on the <em> Cant </em> if none of it had happened. It was a pretty shit job, but it wasn’t like there were a lot of other options. I don’t miss all the bureaucratic bullshit and having to keep that ship in one piece without the money to actually do so. But I do miss the crew,” Naomi said.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Holden signed, “they were good people.”</p>
<p>“Oh man, I miss the band I used to play with! We weren’t very good, but it was pretty fun,” Naomi said with a laugh.</p>
<p>“I totally forgot you played in a band,” Holden replied, “Wait, did I even know that?”</p>
<p>“You were pretty wrapped up in your own life back then,” Naomi said, teasing.</p>
<p>“That’s fair. What instrument did you play?”</p>
<p>“Bass. I got it at this tiny second-hand shop on Ceres after maybe my first year shipping out with the <em> Cant </em>. It was super cheap since it didn’t work and nobody had original parts that would fix it. I was able to get it working though, and Byers roped me into joining her band.”</p>
<p>“Rebecca Byers? The comms officer who killed her husband?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, there’s a lot more to that story though. Basically he was an abusive piece of shit. And sometimes you’ve just gotta do what you gotta do.” Naomi’s expression became resigned for a moment before she shook her head, smiling slightly and continuing. </p>
<p>“Anyway, I’m pretty sure inviting me to join the band was Rebecca’s way of trying to get in my pants. But we all kept it going, even after she and I stopped sleeping together.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you two were together.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it was nice, and the sex was good. But we realized we were better as friends, or well... I guess I broke it off.” Naomi paused, though it seemed she wanted to say more.</p>
<p>“...Was there a specific reason?” Holden asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I liked somebody else...” she said with a shy smile.</p>
<p>“Oh, were your feelings reciprocated?” </p>
<p>“No,” Naomi said and laughed, “he was a real asshole who slept with most of the other women in the crew but didn’t notice me.”</p>
<p>“Oh...” Holden seemed to finally realize who she was talking about.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, he turned out to be a better person than I initially thought and we ended up getting together and living happily ever after.”</p>
<p>“Well, not quite as simple as that though,” He said.</p>
<p>“That’s true, there was that whole time I was on the Behemoth, madly in love with Drummer. Now if we’re talking about really good sex...” Naomi trailed off.</p>
<p>“Do I want to hear this?” Holden asked.</p>
<p>“I’m teasing... well no, no I’m not.” Naomi said with a laugh.</p>
<p>“Do you still love her?” he asked after a moment.</p>
<p>“I mean, yeah... I don’t think that kind of love ever leaves you. I don’t think we’d really work as a couple in the long term though. And I’ve got a pretty good thing going with you.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think so,” she said earnestly.</p>
<p>“Me too,” he replied, “but do you still want to sleep with her? I mean, I don’t want to be some jealous, possessive... well, asshole... if our relationship is keeping you from spending time with someone you really like. I don’t totally love the idea of you having sex with someone else, but I also don’t want to stop you from doing something that would make you happy, if that makes sense.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I get that,” Naomi said, and took a moment to compose her thoughts before continuing, “When we started this relationship I did say that I was strictly interested in being monogamous. But that was a long time ago. I really don’t see Camina and I being in the same vicinity anytime soon, at least until the Free Navy is out of the picture, so we should have some time before making any kind of decision. As far as my own feelings... well yeah, if she were into it, I think it would be nice.”</p>
<p>“I mean, you’re cute an all, but she’s fucking georgeous,” Naomi said with a laugh, “Sorry, I’ll try to be serious.”</p>
<p>“Ok, I think I’ll need some time to think this over. And if I do agree to it we should set some ground rules first.”</p>
<p>“You’re allowed to say no, but yeah take some time before you decide. I’m going to go grab some food and then start on some of the repairs, but we can talk some more later,” Naomi said.</p>
<p>“Sounds good,” Holden responds. </p>
<p>“I love you,” Naomi said as she left the cabin.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” he responded.</p>
<p>She made her way towards the galley in a daze. Did they really just have that conversation? She hadn’t had any plans to discuss opening up their relationship. But now that he brought it up it hit her how much she missed Drummer. It wasn’t just her conversation or company as she had previously managed to convince herself. She did really miss sex with Camina. </p>
<p>Naomi heard a series of loud noises which startled her out of her thoughts. She paused as she tried to identify what was happening and if there was reason for concern. Loud breathing. Grunting. Oh shit. It sounded like someone was having really loud sex. No, it sounded specifically like Bobbie Draper was mid-orgasm. Her mind immediately tried to put a visual to the thought and she could feel herself blushing as she imagined Bobbie, naked, and moving along to the sounds. Oh god. Did she want to fuck Bobbie? She definitely was not supposed to want that. She was meant to be into Holden and Holden alone. Well maybe Camina too. Plus Bobbie was maybe already seeing someone, who she was likely at this moment having sex with... Naomi needed to get out of there. She needed to be out of earshot of the loud sex noises where she could safely ignore any feelings the may or may not have towards Bobbie.</p>
<p>She walked quickly. Unfortunately, there was no way to get to the galley without passing the open door where the sound had to be coming from. She carefully averted her eyes, holding her hand terminal in the other direction and looking intently at a random stream of code.</p>
<p>“Hey.” Oh no. It was Bobbie’s voice. Why was she talking to her? Maybe if she kept walking. No, ignoring her would definitely be weirder.</p>
<p>Naomi turned, looking into the open room. It felt as if the ship’s thrust shifted, as her legs seemed to be having trouble holding her up. Bobbie sat, glistening with sweat, on an exercise mat on the floor, one arm propping her up and the other bent, elbow resting on her knee and fist supporting her chin. She was wearing a sports bra and shorts and had her hair up in a ponytail. She was looking intensely into Naomi’s eyes. Oh shit, hadn’t she said something? GET IT TOGETHER NAOMI.</p>
<p>“Um hi, hey. How’s it going? I’m just going to get some food. Do you want some food?” Bobbie’s eyebrows raised as Naomi rambled. This was not ideal. Naomi felt like Bobbie could probably tell what she was thinking and that just made her feel more flustered.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure,” Bobbie responded, smiling that knowing smile. </p>
<p>They walked the rest of the way to the galley together and Naomi felt hyper aware of the space between them. It was just a crush, if it was even a crush. She could appreciate the fact that Bobbie was incredibly attractive without needing it to be a whole thing, right? It was fine. Everything was fine. This was silly.</p>
<p>They ate together, and decided to have a beer. Naomi was able to successfully ignore any feelings that had been stirred by glimpsing Bobbie in all her post-workout glory and managed to hold up her end of the conversation. Bobbie opened up about her annoyance at finally having a chance to be back in live combat and put her skills to use only to be trapped in an airlock while the whole battle had gone on. She made an offhand comment about post-combat sex not being as good when you weren’t really there for any of the combat. </p>
<p>“So you sleeping with someone then?” Naomi asked, trying to sound casual.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Monica. It didn’t seem like something we needed to make a big announcement about, and I sorta figured everyone knew.”</p>
<p>“I suspected, but I don’t know if anyone else knows. So, if you don’t mind me asking, do you usually sleep with women?” She didn’t know whether this was too invasive of a question, it’d been awhile since she chatted about sexuality with a friend. But Bobbie was in a pretty talkative mood so she figured she may as well ask.</p>
<p>“Yeah, mostly women, but I’ve also been with people of other genders. How about you?” Bobbie asked.</p>
<p>“I’m pretty much in the middle of the Kinsey scale,” Naomi said.</p>
<p>“The rest of the crew seems weirdly straight, I figured everyone these days was at least a little bit bi but I might have to rethink that hypothesis.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Naomi responded, “Holden’s straight, and so was Alex, but I’m pretty sure Amos is bi. I have no clue about Clarissa. And I don’t know the new crew well enough to say for sure one way or another.”</p>
<p>Bobbie seemed to ponder this as she took another sip of beer.</p>
<p>“I have another question for you,” Naomi said tentatively.</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“You and Avasarala?” Bobbie chuckled as Naomi continued, “It just seems like you two have always had a vibe so I wasn’t sure.”</p>
<p>“Yeah... She does like to flirt. But no, we’ve never... I’m usually pretty good at recognizing when someone’s into me,” at this Naomi felt her skin flush and hoped it didn’t show, “but with her it’s just impossible to tell. I won’t say for sure that it’ll never happen, but I’m also not going to hold my breath.”</p>
<p>“Sounds reasonable,” Naomi responded. </p>
<p>“I think so,” Bobbie said, and finished her last bites of food, “This was fun, I enjoy our little chats.”</p>
<p>Naomi laughed a bit, “Yeah, me too. I’ll see you later Bobbie.”</p>
<p>“Later,” Bobbie said as she headed out of the galley. </p>
<p>Naomi placed an elbow on the table and leaned her head into her palm. She put the other hand to her chest and realized her heart was beating way too quickly. Her thoughts were filled with Bobbie and with Camina. She wasn’t sure what to do. Part of her wanted to figure out what Holden was doing and see if he’d have sex right now, but she was giving him space to think. In the end, she made up her mind just to get to work. She’d do something she was good at, that would take her mind off of relationships and sex. She knew she’d be able to suppress the shit out of any feelings she might have towards Bobbie. And she’d hold off on thinking, hoping, or fantasizing about being with Camina again until Holden figured out whether or not he’d be okay with it. But just thinking Camina’s name sent shivers down Naomi’s spine. Nope, not happening. Work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Michio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michio ran her hands over the ladder rungs as she floated through the ship. She could feel her heartbeat quicken and wondered at her surprising amount of nerves. It wasn’t like this would be the first time she slept with Camina, far from it. But it would be the first time in quite a while.</p><p>She arrived at the cabin to find it empty, and walked over to the crash couch she most often used, mag boots clicking loudly with each step. She sat and loosely strapped in as she unfastened the boots. After stowing her boots, she spent a few minutes messing with the lighting and looking through her old playlists for one to listen to.</p><p>Michio started composing a quick text to Drummer when she heard the faint sound of the door’s hydraulics. She looked up and smiled as Camina entered the room.</p><p>“Oye, Camina,” Michio said in greeting.</p><p>“Michio,” Camina said with a nod. Michio undid the strap on the crash couch and gently pushed off of the bulkhead in Drummer’s direction. As she drifted towards her, Camina smiled that cute smile that was almost a smirk, and Michio felt the fluttering in her chest intensify. She reached out and pulled herself to Camina, whose magboots were still firmly anchored to the floor.</p><p>“Hi,” Camina said, as placed an arm around Michio’s waist and a hand on her cheek. Their lips met, and Michio wrapped her legs around Drummer. As the kiss intensified, her hands moved to the hem of Camina’s shirt.</p><p>“May I?” she asked, pulling away from the kiss for a moment.</p><p>“Yes,” Camina said. Michio tugged the shirt off of her, her legs around Drummer’s hips bracing her movement. Drummer lifted her arms and Michio let the shirt float away, they’d worry about tidying the space later. Michio leaned back into the kiss as she unfastened the front of her jumpsuit and pulled the sleeves off so that they floated around her waist. She felt Camina’s slightly cold hands move across her bare skin and a shiver went through her as one went to the small of her back and the other slid over her abs and up to her chest. Camina’s gentle touch felt nice through her sports bra but she wanted nothing between their skin, so she pulled it off.</p><p>“I want you,” Michio said between kisses.</p><p>“I want you too,” Camina echoed in response. Michio heard Camina’s magboots click and a small movement sent them slowly drifting away from the floor.</p><p>Michio held the back of Camina’s neck with her left hand and twirled a loose strand around her index finger. She slid her other hand along her cheekbone, down her neck, across her collarbone, and down to her chest.</p><p>“Here, let me,” Drummer said as she started to pull off her undershirt. Michio moved to hold onto Camina’s waist as she did. She loved the way sex while on the float necessatated a certain amount of intentionality with each movement. Near constant contact was required so that their bodies would not drift apart.</p><p>As their lips met with renewed urgency, Camina wrapped an arm around Michio to hold her close. She began to gently caress Michio’s breasts with the other hand, and Michio could feel her whole body yearn for her touch. She needed Camina at this moment. Needed her with such intensity it almost shocked her. Needed pressure of any kind against her clit as soon as fucking possible. But Camina was taking her sweet time.</p><p>Michio grabbed Camina’s hand which had been delicately running along her chest. She slid the middle and index fingers into her mouth, somewhat seductively, and guided the hand down inside her jumpsuit. Camina began soft upwards strokes along the length of her clit. Michio could feel each motion send shockwaves through her body. She pulled her mouth from Camina’s so that she could more freely breathe, and Camina turned her head to kiss her neck. Camina continued to vary the pressure on and alternated between stroking the entire area and concentrating on vertical motion on the thin skin above Michio’s clit. She was careful not to touch the exposed clit directly, and must have remembered from previous experiences that that was too painful for Michio.</p><p>“I want your fingers inside me,” Michio said into Drummer’s hair. She responded by slipping her middle finger and then her ring finger inside without any friction. Camina kissed along Michio’s neck and down to her chest as she curled her fingers repetitively inside her. Michio was slightly in awe of Camina’s ability to multitask as she stimulated her clit with her thumb, continued to make a come hither movement inside her, and softly kissed her breasts. Michio felt her breathing grow heavy as muscles throughout her body contracted at random and in time with Camina’s movements. She closed her eyes tightly and her head tilted back as her body continued to convulse. A rush ran through her and she felt her muscles contract and then relax. The sense that she could only describe as euphoria flooded through her body as it always did when she climaxed. She opened her eyes again and took a long breath in.</p><p>“Do you want me to keep going?” Camina asked, looking up at her.</p><p>“No, not right now. That was,” Michio couldn’t seem to formulate words in her head but finally landed on “fuck, that was amazing.” Camina giggled as she gently moved their bodies so that their faces were once more at the same level. Michio stared into Camina’s gorgeous, black lined eyes for a few moments as the last few aftershocks of the orgasm ran through her body.</p><p>“Fuck Camina, that was really good,” Michio said finally, “I just, just give me a few minutes and then I can do you.”</p><p>“Take all the time you need,” Drummer responded, “there’s no rush, and you don’t have to if you’re not up for it right now, it’s not like I’m going anywhere.”</p><p>Michio smiled and leaned in to kiss Camina lightly on the mouth. She then moved so that her lips were almost brushing her ear.</p><p>“I’m going to make you come, bosmang,” Michio whispered before pulling away, a sly smile on her face. Camina’s expression seemed to fall somewhere between shock, mild embarrassment, and delight, and after a moment she just chuckled.</p><p>“Not your bosmang right now, Michio,” she responded, “just Camina.”</p><p>“Okay, ‘Just Camina,’” Michio said, lowering her voice to mimic Drummer’s. She was having way too much fun, and it was delightful.</p><p>“Fuck you,” Camina said with more tenderness than Michio had ever heard in those two words, “Come here.” She pulled Michio closer to her and they kissed, bodies suspended in the middle of the room and rotating ever so slowly.</p><p>Michio began removing her jumpsuit the rest of the way as Camina’s gentle and strong touch kept their bodies entwined. She lightly kicked the fabric away, sending their bodies moving ever so slightly in the opposite direction. Next, she unfastened Camina’s pants and started to pull them off. Camina took Michio’s hands in her own and moved them around her waist before taking off her magboots and finishing removing her pants and underwear. Michio’s eyes flitted down Camina’s body, taking her in.</p><p>“You’re really <em>fucking</em> hot, Camina,” she finally said, and felt her face flush a bit.</p><p>“So are you, Michio,” Camina responded, smiling. Every time Camina said her name, Michio felt her heart skip.</p><p>Michio closed the distance between their lips and kissed her softly and briefly before moving her kisses to the right, along Camina’s cheek. She continued on, winding her way over Camina’s soft skin. The curving line of kisses continued down her neck, over to her shoulder, and looped back on itself to descend along her collarbone. Michio let her mouth wander, without a predetermined path, though she did have an eventual destination in mind. She reached Camina’s left nipple, and as she kissed it and played with it with her tongue she caressed her right breast with her hand. She could feel Camina begin to squirm in anticipation, but she continued on with her trail of kisses at the same slow and steady pace. She made her way to Camina’s right breast to pay it the same attention, before moving down. She kissed along the ridges of Camina’s ribs and down to her abs. Michio kept their bodies close with one hand on the small of Camina’s back. With the other hand, she continued to caress Camina’s chest as she made her way down her body. She kissed along the outside of Camina’s hip and thigh, hands moving to firmly hold her ass. Once she reached Camina’s right knee, she moved over to her left knee, slowly moving to the inside of her thigh.</p><p>“Fuck, Michio,” Camina whined, as Michio deliberately took her time kissing the last few inches of her thigh. She moved a hand back to the small of Camina’s back, and let the other return to Camina’s chest as she began to gently apply pressure to her clit with her tongue. Drummer’s body responded swiftly, and after building up the intensity and trying a few different combinations of speed, pressure, and movement, Michio quickly got into a groove that Camina really responded to. Michio kept it up as she caressed Camina’s breasts.</p><p>“Pashaaang” Camina said, drawing out the word in a voice so high Michio almost didn’t recognize it as Camina’s. Michio felt Camina’s body twitch and shudder, and she continued to ramp up the speed and pressure until she heard Camina emit a sound which could only be described as a squeal. She couldn’t stifle the giggle that erupted from her throat and she pulled away from Camina’s clit for a moment.</p><p>“Don’t stop,” Camina pleaded, and Michio did as she asked. She felt the squirming and breathing grow more intense, as Camina rattled off a number of expletives in a jumbled mix of dialects and languages, some of which Michio didn’t even recognize.</p><p>“Fuuuuuuuuuck,” Camina said, “ok... you can stop...” Michio pulled back together so that their faces were aligned, and held on to Camina’s waist.</p><p>“You good?” Michio asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” Camina responded, “real fucking good.”</p><p>“Good,” Michio said, and smiled.</p><p>“I love you, Michio,” Camina said.</p><p>“I love you too.” Michio kissed her and then pulled her into a hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes, bodies entwined in the middle of the room, breathing deeply.</p><p>“...Camina?”</p><p>“Yeah?” said Camina.</p><p>“You hungry?” Michio asked.</p><p>“I could eat,” Camina responded with a chuckle.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m actually pretty hungry” Michio said, and laughed as she saw that their clothes were all strewn about the room out of reach.</p><p>“Guess we could have thought this through a bit more at the beginning... So how are we going to do this?” Camina asked. Always the problem solver, Michio decided to take the situation into her own hands. She pulled out of the hug and leaned in for a kiss before forcefully shoving Camina away from her. Camina chuckled as their bodies glided to opposite sides of the room. Michio grabbed a handhold as she hit the soft padding on the bulkhead and Camina did the same. They spent the next few minutes moving through the cabin and collecting their clothes. Once she had her jumpsuit back on, Michio strapped herself to the crash couch so that she’d have both hands free to put her magboots back on. She sat and watched Camina’s beautiful, naked form glide through the cabin as she grabbed her last few articles of clothing and got dressed.</p><p>They walked to the galley, arm in arm. The whole universe seemed to be falling apart around them. But at least they had each other. The feelings of happiness and joy were welcome and necessary. The grief, fear, anger, and sadness had brought Michio to a dark place, and not for the first time. But she had someone now. She and Camina were okay, and together they’d find a way through it all.</p>
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